Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Part2

That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb…and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily…How could he….I felt that…Maybe he is not the right guy for me…
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday.
After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street …with another girl…He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll…I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell…Why did he gave these to me…Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…
In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end.
Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…
Me: I don’t need it.
Jin: What….why…
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice.
He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.
Then…Honk~ Honk~With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted…
But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
“Jin, move!”HONK~!!“Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me. After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person…
I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…“One…two… three…”
That was how… I started to count the dolls…“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…”
It all ended with 485 dolls.

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